I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night. She feels if your dating someone for at least 6 months or more. Then he should offer to help his woman out. Which could mean paying a bill that month, showing up with groceries, etc.
I think that is crazy ! They are your bills ! If we are living together then yes, but not if i have my own household to maintain ! Heck she should pay one of my bills !
What are your thoughts ?
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BOY STOP!!!!!!!I KNOW THAT GOOD WOMAN THAT RAISED YOU, DID NOT RAISE YOU TO THINK AND FEEL LIKE THAT. LOL. MEN ARE GO-GETTERS/PROVIDERS. IF YOU ARE IN A WOMAN'S COMPANY WHETHER YOU ARE OR NOT HAVING SEXUAL RELATIONS. A MAN SHOULD WANT TO HELP HER ANY WAY POSSIBLE. IF HE CAN. IF HE CAN'T HE NEED TO GET OUT THERE AND GET IT. SO, THEN HE CAN. ONLY A LOSER WANTS A WOMAN TO HELP HIM. NOW IF YOU NORMALLY THERE FOR HER AND YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING AT THIS TIME, THAT'S A DIFFERENT ISSUE.
HAHAHAH real cute anonymouse. Neither did my mother raise a fool. My mother raised us to be independent and I believe in woman's rights (haha).
I feel if we are in a relationship then yes I will help you. But just because I am in your company, I would be broke helping half of my friends. I think too many woman are looking for handouts and feel just because "I give your some good booty" you should take care of me. Heck I have some good....
NOW THAT'S 2 DIFFERENT CONVERSATIONS. YOU STATED THEY WERE DATING FOR AT LEAST 6 MONTHS. DO YOU NOT CALL THAT SOME TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP? OK THEN, NOW WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE... NOW IF YOU HAVE SOME SELFISH/JUST NEEDY AND GREEDY WOMAN THAT'S LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT, I'M WITH YOU. GET A JOB,YOU LAZY B-T--CH.
LOL. NOW IF SHE HAVE GIVEN YOU SOME BOOTY AND SOME GOOD BOOTY. THEN IT COST TO PLAY...LOL WHEN YOU GO TO SIXFLAGS DON'T YOU HAVE TO PAY TO GET IN.... NOW ONCE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF FOR THE ENTIRE DAY, DO THEY NOW OFFER TO PAY YOU BECAUSE YOU ENJOYED YOUR DAY? LOL
At 6 months you should not be looking in my face to assume responsibility for any of your expenses. That goes back to the thread about the 2 types of women, I am sure a woman's mother raised her not to DEPEND on anyone for damn thing. If you lookin at me to pay a bill after 6 months, you gonna be looking at my back at 6 months and 2 seconds. You chose to have that expense so you need to choose to pay that expense. Using that logic, we should be moving in at 5 months and 2 weeks. Someone here said 'Only a looser wants a woman to help him', what kinda woman is looking for a man to support her after 6 months? What does that say about your up-bringing? What does that say about your character? A man to OFFER to help with a bill here and there, but for that woman to EXPECT him to do it....GTFOH
LET ME SUMMARIZE EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID IN ONE SENTENCE. PAYING A BILL, OFFERING HELP IS NOT SUPPORTING A PERSON, I'M INDEPENDENT, I HAVE MY OWN BUT I STILL WANT YOURS TOO.
P.S. THAT'S HOW A WOMAN CAN SEPARATE THE BOYS FROM THE MEN..... GO PLAY AND CATCH BACK UP WITH ME WHEN YOU A WEARING THE THE PANT'S FROM THE MEN SECTION.. LOL
easy rider thanks for so eloquently cleaning that up.
Like I said I got some good.... I would like a bill paid too.. hahahaha
Good booty is just that good booty. Unless your a sucker good booty will have you paying bills and every darn thing else. LOL
WELL THAT'S UP TO THE MAN TO SEPARATE WHETHER HE IS A SUCKER OR JUST A GOOD A-- MAN. A MAN KNOWS WHAT SHOULD AND NEED TO BE DONE WITH OUT A WOMAN ASKING. BUT THAT TELLS ME ALOT ABOUT THE WOMEN YOU ALL MUST BE INVOLVED WITH. THEY HAVEN'T MATURED YOU YET. THE PARENTS RAISING ONLY CAN GO SO FAR. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, I'M INDEPENDENT AND STILL DEPENDENT ON YOURS. I DON'T NEED IT. I REQUIRE IT. I DON'T MIND LOOKING AT YOUR BACK AFTER NOT BEING THERE FOR ME. HOLLA!!!! IT WOULD BE YOUR LOST. A HELLAVA STRONG WOMAN, ONLY WANTS THE SAME IN HER MAN.
So you are saying that you are an independent woman that has yours and WANTS mine, and until I pony up I am not a strong man? So again, by your logic a man who makes enough money to support his life style but not yours is not a strong man or not strong enough (financially) for you?
a man that has his own and that can support himself and his lifestyle is being a man.... but you're thinking selfish now, me, my and I.
all im saying is if you are dating a woman there is nothing you shouldn't be willing to do for her, even if that means you going without. now that's a good man. Like i said, im not referring to the lazy nothing a@@ Who@res that just looking for as easyride. smile... but the woman you are dating... yes, im not getting ready to have no man up in my face that's not willing to break a back for me; especially if im willing to do it, if NEEDED... ex: you have a mother, sister, daughter. they work everyday, pay there own bills... they are dating a man who also has his own. they ask you for some gas/bill/etc money. I know then you would probably would do that. but would you not lose respect for that man that's all up in there face for not offering, wanting and willing to do the same?
You said 'You have my own but I still want yours too.' There is a difference in asking for the hell of asking and asking because you don't have it. Regardless, if you asking for money at 6 months is not a good sign. Expecting to have a bill paid after 6 months is unfathomable. Sure, the longer you dating the more things you anticipate happening, but paying bills is certainly gonna a nice bit of time.
IF YOU READ THE ORIGINAL MESSAGE AGAIN, THE WOMAN WASN'T ASKING, SHE REPLIED, SHE THINKS HE SHOULD OFFER TO HELP HIS WOMAN OUT.... I AGREE TOTALLY WITH THAT.... ME, BEING ME, YES... I HAVE MY OWN AND YES, I STILL WANT YOURS NOT NEED BUT WANT... I REPEAT, IM NOT GETTING READY TO SPEND MY TIME, ENERGY WITH NO MAN THAT DOESN'T HAVE MY BACK.. IF HE'S NOT WILLING TO OFFER YOU OR ASK YOU ARE YOU OK NOW AFTER 6 MONTHS, HE NEVER WILL.... YOU ARE, WHO YOU ARE. A WOMAN CAN'T CHANGE A MAN. SO, I SEE THOSE QUALITIES/SIGN FAST AND IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING IN SIX MONTHS, YOU'RE WILL NOT BE WILLING IN SIX YEARS. SO LET ME DROP THE HOT POTATOE NOW... YOU REFER TO SIX MONTHS AS IF IT TWO DAYS. SIX MONTHS IS QUITE A BIT OF TIME TO DATE ONE PERSON THESE DAYS. WHAT'S THE DIFFENCE IN FILLING YOUR WOMAN GAS TANK UP AND GOING TO HOUSTONS FOR DINNER, EITHER WAY, YOU'RE SPENDING MONEY. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? YOU'RE NOT SECURE WITH YOURSELF, IF YOU START OFFERING THINGS, YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING A SUCKER/OR THATS THE ONLY REASON SHE'S WITH YOU.... BECAUSE HER EXPECTING THE OFFER SIX MONTHS DOWN THE LINE, YOU BETTER STICK WITH THAT BECAUSE MY TIME IS VALUABLE, I EXPECT MY OFFERS SOONER THAN THAT. LOL DON'T TAKE ME/MY COMMENTS SO PERSONAL. THAT'S JUST ME... I FEEL MEN ARE PROVIDERS AND IF YOU ONLY HAVE ENOUGH FOR YOU, I WILL MOTIVATE YOU TO WANT TO GO AND GET ENOUGH FOR US.... THAT'S JUST ME THOUGH. LIKE I SAID, IF THE DAY CAME THAT MY MAN COULDN'T CONTINUE TO PROVIDE AS USUAL, I WOULD DO THE SAME.... THAT'S A DEFINITION OF A GOOD MAN AND A GOOD WOMAN.
where are you Dakim, Haven't heard anything out of you for a while... Are you working trying to get that offer up for your woman.lol
Taken personal...naw, just stating my counterpoint to your point.
Anonymous, I was in a meeting but i'm back, nah ma I looking for you but your so independent your hiding behind who your really are ! your very funny and i apreciate you keeping it real. However, sounds like your either a gold digger or you like weak men. Your game is sharp, I like it. if your about 5'0 - 5'5 get at me. So I can get some of your independent money.. LOL..
I am trying to figure out where did your definition of a good man. A good man is not one who allows a women to be a leech. Woman always claiming to be independent, when in reality your only independance is based on depending on another.
When we are dating it is just that. If we are planning on having a life etc, then yes I am going to have your back just as much as you better have mines. My time is just as valuable as yours, so if your not bringing something more than some decent booty and the ms independent talk, then you might want to go to six flags you will get a better ride and have more fun. LOL..
Ms Dr. Phil, I don't need you to motivate me to go get money for you. I think that is the definition of a PIMP. hehe. We need to motivate each to get that bread then bring it to the table and SPLIT IT 50/50 ya dig !!
But it's obvious the type of REAL man you want. The one that comes home and gives up the check willing. Are you going to dress him also. LOL.
There is no point, she is looking for a young dude with no back bone to support her!
off the chain...
Wow, I'm excited that someone sees my point. Actually those were my comments and what I said was he should want to offer to help me because that’s what real men do. You are absolutely correct, what's the difference for paying for a hotel room than putting gas in my car from time to time. If we are dating 2 months 6 months it doesn't matter. It has nothing to do with up bringing it has to do with being a good man and women. Men lose there sense of man hood because that first chick they actually took them for a sucka and mistake it with a real women like my self. Men these days don’t measure up to the real men back in the days. Those of you, who had father in the home growing up, know that their mothers did not have to want for anything and as a women I expect the same thing from any man that I'm dealing with. You men think that booty is everything. Please know that if I chose to give my body to you it's a privilege. My time should not be wasted on someone who does not have my back. That's the reason why we have so much failed marriage because most men want to be the head of the family but don't know how to play the part and being the head of the family starts from when you starting dating the person. Shivery is not dead with me.
WAIT A MIN. IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION...HA HA HA
I this it is absolutely insane for a man to pay for a womans ANYTHING just because they are together. I mean for real...They don't owe you nothing but to keep up with the relationship. And what does that say about any woman that assume just because someone is dating you for a certain period of time now is responsible for your well being...Ummmm NO!
Until you are living toghther or married you shouldn't EXPECT anything. Now if you are just going through a difficult moment and may need some assistance of course i would think your mate would step in but by no means are the obligated!!!!
Key word expect. No one says that we expect anything. A kind gesture would be greatly appreicated by a man. Than maybe your use to giving your stuff away all willy. Call me what you want but I don't want to take the content away from the question. Men should want to be their for the women. He has no problem expecting to give up some booty or he will be going to the next one if you don't put out.
DAKIM, YOU ARE HILARIOUS... IT'S SUCH A SHAME YOU COULDN'T MEET SOMEONE LIKE ME TO HAVE YOU TO EAT ALL YOUR WORDS. NO, I'M NOT HIDING BEHIND YOU I AM. I'M REAL AND I KEEP IT REAL. YOU WANT MY RESUME? NO, I DON'T LIKE A SUCKER OR A LITTLE/YOUNG BOY. I DON'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OR MUNIPULATE. I'M STRONG A STRONG WOMAN AND I HAVE A STRONG MIND, WHY WOULD I SETTLE FOR A WUSS OR WEAK INDIVIDUAL. I'M A CHOOSEY LOVER AND I LIKE CHOOSEY MAN NOT SOMEONE ANYBODY CAN HAVE. A CHALLENGE DEFINITELY. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, I AM MONEY, I ATTRACT MONEY, I'M HONEST AND GIVING, THAT'S WHAT I ATTRACT, I DON'T MEET YOU TYPE OF MEN... SORRY... I'LL LEAVE YOU FOR THOSE WOMEN WHO THINK LIKE YOU 50/50 BECAUSE IT'S 100/100 HER. IM ALL YOURS AND YOU ARE ALL MINE... HOW DO YOU PLAN ON HAVING A LIFE WITH A PERSON WITHOUT DATING? BEING WITH SOMEONE STARTS WITH DATING. YEA, I'M 5'2, CHOCOLATE AND SEXY AS HELL AND I PLAY NO GAMES. PIMP? NAH, I WOULDN'T CALL ME THAT. BECAUSE IM NOT GOING TO WAIT FOR YOU TO BRING ME SH!T. I LOVE ME, I'M GOING TO ALWAYS MAKE SURE I'M OK, SO WHY WOULD I NEED SOMEONE IN MY FACE THAT CAN'T DO NOTHING FOR ME... I KNOW YOU MUST BE BLACK BECAUSE ONLY OUR MEN RACE OF MEN THINKS LIKE YOU... A BLACK MAN COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE AND HE STILL WANTS HIS SPOUSE TO WORK, NOT BECAUSE SHE HAVE TO BUT JUST BECAUSE IT 50/50. OR IF SHE DOESN'T WORK, HE WANTS HER TO COOK, CLEAN AND BE MOTHER. WHITES, ASIANS, HISPANICS, AND EVEN INDIANS THEY GET TO BE MS DUNWOODY'S, SHOP, PLAY TENNIS, HAVE MAIDS AND NANNIES..... THINK ABOUT IT... ENOUGH OF YOU THOUGH... MAYBE ONE DAY YOU WILL FEEL ME....LOL
TO KNOCK: HANG IN THERE, YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. YOU CLAIM IT.... IT' YOURS.... IF YOU RUN UP ON WHAT YOU DON'T WANT, KICK IT TO THE CURB EARLY GIRL... TAKE IT FROM ME... ITS SOME GOOD MEN STILL LEFT....... RATHER THEY ARE 9-5ERS OR MILLIONAIRES. DON'T SETTLE.... YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK BUT IF YOU DO, DON'T HESITATE, A CLOSE MOUTH WILL NEVER GET FEED... I'M TELL YOU LIKE MY DADDY TOLD ME... IF I HAVE NEVER HIT YOU OR TOLD YOU NO. DONT SETTLE FOR NO MAN THAT WILL.....THAT'S SOME REAL ADVISE AND IT STUCK WITH ME. INDEPENDENT ME HAVE TO DO A LITTLE WORK NOW SO I CAN MAINTAIN. (I'M INDEPENDENT BUT STILL DEPENDENT ON YOURS NOT BECAUSE I NEED IT BUT I REQUIRE IT.... I'M A HELLAVA WOMAN AND I WANT A HELLAVA MAN.... I DON'T HOSTAGES, IT FREE WILL....
conronda, darling... this is what i mean there is someone for everyone. you're that woman the dakim and easyrider is looking for. and like wise... if that man is in a relationship with you and don't offer you something from one time to another.. try needed him on day and ask... see if you get it.... it's not expected, it should be a given.... keep acting like jesse jackson trying to keep hope alive. it's a new candidate name... time for change...lol
I don't see either of us disputing the point that if a man WANTS to do it, but in the original post it saying that he should be doing that after at least 6 months. For me that reads as though she is entitled to that because she been around.
BACK TO YOU EASY RIDER, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAY... IT'S NOT THE AMOUNT OF TIME YOU ARE WITH SOMEONE, IT'S A GOOD MAN, IT'S THE THOUGHT, THE OFFER. JUST SAY, WE WERE DATING AND I WAS TO MEET YOU FOR LUNCH. WELL WE DECIDE TO CATCH A MOVIE, WE JUMP IN MY CAR BECAUSE IT'S CLOSER. I REALIZE, I NEED SOME GAS, PULL INTO THE STATION... A MAN GET OUT FIRST AND SAY'S I GOT IT, I REPLY, YOU SURE? YEA... I THEN TO GET OUT TO AT LEAST PUMP THE GAS, HE COMES AND GET THAT FROM ME AND STATES, I HAVE IT... THAT'S A MAN.... I DIDN'T ASK.... HE OFFERED.... A 50/50 YOUNG MAN WILL SIT IN THE CAR WATCH ME PAY, AND MAY SIT THERE WHILE I PUMP. SAYING SHIT THIS IS HER CAR.... CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE??? NOW THAT MAN IS THE TYPE OF MEN I ATTRACT, THAT OTHER YOUNG MAN, I HAVE TO LEAVE HIM FOR THE CONRONDA'S... LOL
You know what I dont Expect a man to do anything for me. I can do what ever I want for myself. If you walk around talking about a man should pay my bills like he owes you something...then guess what you got a SUCKA for real.
No real man is going to be your puppet and be dominated by some simple minded, materailistic, jezebel woman. The woman who walks around just holding their little hands out talking about if you want the coochie you gotta pay for it are the ones the previous post was referencing to(ATL women).
What is your relationship based on...MONEY really....for real? I want a man to be real with me....not pay for me. I don't think that is keeping hope alive! I want respect. So if a man doesn't just give up his pockets to you now you don't want him. WOW!
Besides like i said if I am going thru a rough time then yeah I would hope that someone I've been dating for sometime will offer to help. If he doesn't that would be the time to deconstruct our relationship. If he just want to give me something that fine too. But I would never just be looking for it. We are not married so I won't be living with married expectantcies!!!
being new on the scene with you all, this is a great topic to join in with...
six months "good booty" is different of six months of building "a good friendship". also equates to usually where the relationship will go. If you are friends and have good sex, and she has a random conversation with you about not having gas, then I would think you would help a friend out. Whether its a friend or lover. However for it to be expected is a different kind of woman....and you pretty much can tell what type that is from the jump...So dont be surprised....when she asks "you are going to put in on this"
LOL
Anonymous, I get you, these other folks are not getting it. It's not about being whorish or sex for sale, it's about a man being a man. An women like you conronda baby sit them and don't hold them up to what they are to do as men. Like I said you father didn't make your mother want for anything, so why shouldn't I expect the same. Money is a minor issue.
You contridicted yourself because you said if you have a hard time on something of that sort the yeah you expect help why not he be there fore you not when your in trouble, but all the time. A good women would recongize that and he will get the same in return. You all are turning this into a golddigger type stituation and that's not what the context of the questions was. I feel he should want to help
Annoymous, thanks but you can't find that man here in the ATL because their are none and if their like that their already married and even those are willing to take care of you and their wife verse the single one who don't have one and can't get one because of the same mentality of easy rider and Dakim.
GIRL WE ARE NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT GIVING UP THE COOCHIE. A MAN WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GO INSIDE ME WITHOUT PAMPERING ME, THAT'S BECAUSE I RESPECT ME AND MY BODY TO MUCH... KEY WORD, I DON'T EXPECT IT.... I REQUIRE IT.... RESPECT I WON'T GIVE YOU TWO MINUTES IF YOU OF MY TIME IF YOU ARE NOT ON POINT.. DO YOU THINK I WOULD SETTLE FOR ANYTHING ELSE.. JEZEBEL, MATERIALISTIC, SIMPLE MINDED NEVER..... SUCKA, A GOOD MAN WILL NEVER BE..... A QUEEN IS WHAT IT IS.... HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A KING WITHOUT A QUEEN... A KING WEARS THE THRONE BUT THE QUEEN IS REALLY THE ONE WHO RULES, SHE'S JUST SUCH A GOOD WOMAN, SHE KNOWS HOW TO LET ME THINK HE'S REALLY THE ONE WHO'S CALLING THE SHOTS... A MAN ALWAYS NEED A STRONG WOMAN BEHIND HIM TO KEEP HIM FOCUS. THAT'S WHY GOD GAVE ADAM- EVE. ALSO HE MADE MAN TO PROVIDE AND TAKE CARE OF WOMAN... JUST LIKE A WOMAN SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO ASK A MAN TO MARRY HER. HE IS SUPPOSE TO EXTEND THAT OFFER.... A WOMAN, SHOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK, EXPECT A MAN TO DO NOTHING. A MAN KNOWS WHAT A WOMAN WANTS AND NEEDS. YOU GET WHAT YOU SETTLE FOR... YOU DON'T KNOW BETTER TO YOU GET BETTER... IF YOU EVER MEET THE MAN, I'M REFERRING TO, YOU WILL THEN KNOW HOW YOU HAVE PLAYED AND CHEATED YOURSELF.....THEN YOU WILL REQUIRE MORE FOR YOURSELF... AND WON'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS..... LIKE I SAID, IF YOUR MAN DOESN'T OFFER IT ON A REGULAR DAY... TRY NEEDING HIM ONE DAY AND SEE IF HE BEHAVES DIFFERENTLY... GET READY TO DECONSTRUCT. CAUSE I GUARANTEE YOU, HE WILL NOT HAVE YOUR BACK... EVEN WHEN YOU SAY, I'VE NEVER ASKED YOU FOR ANYTHING, SO YOU MUST KNOW I NEED IT.... SEE WHAT YOU BEEN WAITING YOU TIME WITH THEN.... RESPECT IS THE KEY WORD, YOU SAY IT BUT LIVE IT... IT NOT ABOUT THE MONEY, IT'S THE PRINCIPLE.
I think that a man should offer to help me in my time of need.
Example I needed my car fixed, maintance light was blinking my friend just took it upon his self and asked me hey... how much does it cost for you to get that fixed I told him and next day I had the money it wasnt anything that I asked for but I think as a man when you see thats its something your woman needs you need to try and provide I dont care if your meeting em half way.... try and put something on the table damn....
Men yall really need to get it together I dont think its anything that is expected I think its your duty
Conronda... baby... why in the hell do you think that a man is a sucker for giving you what you ask....
To me thats a good man, and anyway at the end of the day its really give and take...
I know you feel that you have done something in your relationship that your mate didnt give you back in return did that make you a sucker...
AMEN.... Anonymous preach baby
KNOCK, IM IN ATLANTA AND BELEIVE IT OR NOT MY HUSBAND IS FROM ATLANTA... I DON'T BOTHER WITH OTHER PEOPLE HUSBAND BECAUSE KARMA IS HELL... I DON'T WANT NO ONE BOTHERING WITH MINE.LOL BUT I'M USE TO MEN MATERIALISTICALLY SPOILING ME BUT I ALWAYS SAID MEN AIN'T SH!T. ALL OF THEM CHEAT... YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE NEGATIVE THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. BECAUSE THAT'S JUST WHAT I GOT. WHEN I CHANGED MY WAY OF THINKING AND SAYING MAYBE THERE'S ONE OR TWO OUT OF A HUNDRED, THEN I GOT THAT ONE AS WELL. JUST WHEN I THOUGHT IT DIDN'T EXIST.... SO KNOW THEY'RE SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR YOU. I READ THIS QUOTE ONE DAY AND FELL IN LOVE WITH IT. "TO GET SOMETHING YOU NEVER HAD, YOU MUST DO SOMETHING YOU NEVER DID." THAT SAID A THOUSAND WORDS... SUMMED UP IN ONE (CHANGE) THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.. NOT SAYING SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. BUT JUST CHANGE THE PEOPLE YOU ASSOCIATE WITH, GO SOMEWHERE YOU WOULDN'T NORMALLY GO ETC... PRAY AND BE PATIENT, YOU CLAIM IT.... IT'S YOURS...
I did not contridict myself...
I said that I dont expect anything and I don't. If I date someone for say 6 months I dont think they are obligated in any way form or fashion to be a provider to me.
That is not my husband!
Maybe I should be asking what is the definition of a MAN to you all...
I do believe that a man is the provider of his home and family. I do believe that a man should be there during the relationship and not just when I need him. You need each other on all types of levels not just in a monitary way.
The original post says "after six months a man should offer help" be it food, money, or what ever. Why would anyone expect that. EXPECTING IT IS THE PROBLEM. Because she is not simply saying "oh if he doesn't do it I won't be mad" She is saying "what is the hold up why aren't you giving" and that to me translates to expecting.
Now if I am with a man for some time you just do things for one another without speaking about it. You do the him bring something becuase you guys are cooking, to him putting gas in your car or whatever. To expect though..Ummm NO! I mean really!
:::::::::News Flash:::::::::
Anonymous and krock if your dude is trickin off and paying bills and filling gas tanks that is just a part of his game. And that is not a real man ,where I am from we call that dude "Capt save a ____"
Have way more respect for a woman that handles her own business. Can't help you if you can't help yourself. If we live together or you are wifey, yeah I am going to hold you down. If you got my seed I will give you my last. But if you are some random chick?
LOL
the original post said, she THINKS he should have offered, that's not expecting. because if it was my friend telling me her thoughts, then i would confirm.... just as dakim told her that was crazy, i would have giving her the solution to her problem... like i said again whether it gas,dinner,rent bills, shopping. a man do what you let him. if you don't lay down the rules, you get what you bargain for... you do sound contradictive, because now you and you man do for each other just because and first you didn't want a man do nothing for you.
We are in a recession and the waters are getting deep and I am fresh out of life perservers.
Everybody got to sink or swim on there own. LOL
Conronda how can you know if a man is all that in a marriage if he doesnt reflect that in the relationship come on now.....
well ad, if you read all of my messages, you would have read what i said about a choosey lover... i don't like them easy or a man that save hoes.... i like them like gorilla types, a man in the streets and a lover a home, that knows how to take care of his woman with out asking. you know??? the ones that say never, like the ones i'm talking to today. as long as the potential is there, i make men out of them. what a real woman who does have her owns wants and needs...
tell her again goldenstar... my sentiment exactly...
ad where is the recession??? oh, it hadn't affected us.... you sinking because of the way you thinking.... you got the right idea though just wrong woman.lol
ok in response to Ms Golden...
Do you just give up your money just cuz?
I said he is a sucka if he just bowing to you and just giving up funds for no good reason. That is not the same as doing for one another. I said expect..key word here is expect.
Anonymous - ms sexy hershey bar with money. Your truly a good writer and know how to bring out the best in people. But you still got game and looking to drive and man to drink !!!!!!!!
anonymous-
Sounds like you are just looking for a dude to suppliment your income. I mean there are hustles like pre-paid legal or perhaps sell a little noni juice on the side to get your dough up.
Aside from looking cute, what is it exactly that you do to feel you deserve the salary you command from your man?
I mean daddy may have spoiled you when you were a little girl but its time to take the training bra off and start shopping at Vickies.
conronda, you're getting there but still again and again. YOU shouldn't need a reason for a man to be a man... it's not expecting, it should just be a given...
dakim, not quite a hershey more like a snicker.lol didn't you hear i'm a motivator, i'll stop him from drinking...smile
ad, im in the a 6 figure yearly salary. yea, you're right my daddy did start the spoiling game, let me know that no other man is worthy of me if he can't continue what he started when i took my training bra off.. look at me now.. a delightful perk....lol
Conronda, I mean I dont feel like its my duty to give up my money just cuz..... but to be real with you I would give out what I expect and if I saw it was something my man needed I would provide.. I never said it was a one way street...
The point is if your man see that u need help with the bills, ya need ya hair did, I mean whatever you "NEED" I think he should try and work it out for you... other then that you dont need that dude on ya team.
Anonymous - you talk like you know me. But I don't know any money hungry woman man 6 figures.. so I know im good..
Im going to say this you can fast talk all day. I know some folks think that thats cool and all. Im sure you have made ur man feel so little. Not good enough. But maybe those are the guys you attract. It is not about being about money and attracting money. That line alone..wow. What about quality? What are you doing for this guy? You treating him like he's walking on a gold?
I will not dare baby sit any man. We are equals. Again, what is the definition of a man?
Is it ok for him to just say you should be coming over and cooking and cleaning and playing house?
I guess this is what makes us all so very different. Like anonymous said...What you put out is what you get back. And it's really that simple
Don't let them perk to much and show your headlights it gets cold in the winter. LOL
If you do indeed make 6 figures you may be a pretty good business woman.
Would you pour your resources into an unproven commodity? Or make an investment in something that has limited returns?
I was raised by a man and he taught me something as well. the realest words he ever spoke to me were "the two things in life you have to be able to control is your D*** and your money"
I take those words to heart. If you are showing off jump that money and materialism are your hot buttons thats where I fallback. I will do more for the unassuming appreciative woman as opposed to the spoiled pampered ones.
AD, I HAVE TO GO NOW, IT'S TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THE HOME FRONT.. MAYBE WILL FINISH TOMORROW. I LIKE YOU DADDY WORDS TO YOU, THOSE ARE SOME GOOD WORDS TO SHARE WITH A MAN... IF YOU ANALYZE THEM,HAVING A GOOD WOMAN ON YOUR SIDE, KEEPS THE D!c- AND THE MONEY CONTROLLED. LOL. IM VERY APPREICIATE, LIKE I SAID I'M A HELLAVA STRONG WOMAN... AND NEVER WILL I INVEST IN A NO RETURN SITUATION, YOU SHOULD HAVE ALREADY KNOWN THAT ANSWER WITH OUT ASKING ME.LOL
Ad that's what Im talking about. Don't be sitting around talking about he NEEDS to be paying on my bills, gettig my hair done, and fixing my car. WHAT!!!
I want someone to do it becuase he wants to. That is a real man Not because I said so. That's not a man to me. Like Ad said ppl pick up on that right away and it shows what you really put on the top of your list.
KROCK – Baby girl you’re not looking for a man, you and Anonymous and GoldenStar are all looking for a suga daddy!
KROCK - You think because your have a lil something between your legs men are suppose to ask how high you want me to jump. It isn’t a privilege to hit the nappy dugout. The privilege should be for a man to know he has a certified strong black woman in his corner. Apparently, you think that all men jump for that. That is a small piece of the puzzle because real talk we can get a nut anywhere. You are so caught in a man should want to this and want to that. I wonder do you know how to be there for a real man. It really sounds like you do things EXPECTING something in return.
GoldenStar – your bananas also, what wrong with a man giving you what you ask for, you will never respect him because he is only your “DOBOY”
once again another sista that dates with her hand out. You don’t want to give a dude head til your married, but you want to test him out before you know if he is marriage material. Your very double standard I see. I guess you must be from Atl with that mentality
Anonymous – ms sexy 6 figure making Hershey/snicker/motivator. Or whatever! You’re the woman most men run from, You’re looking for a man to carry and take care of you. Remember you’re independent, so you really don’t need a man. All, I get from you is an overbearing, controlling woman looking to manipulate a man into doing what you want him to do. You claim your real, but you hide behind “Anonymous”, which makes me question all that you say. Yes I am a black man ! And I laugh at woman like you want a man to work hard make the money like you sit up competing for ms buckhead ! My theory date a white, asian, Indian or what ever. Actually you sound like the woman that took all my money. LOL.. Again your words are sharp and your game is good for a man that chooses to believe that mess you’re talking.
At the end of the day, if a man and a woman are working towards something solid and they are living together then he should jump in and help out. But if they are dating and have their own living arrangements etc. PAY YOUR OWN BILLS ! To the question why not put gas in my car if you can feed me. I decide how I spend my money, she doesn’t dictate how or what I do with mines. And a man that allows a woman to do that isn’t a man, he is a boy playing a man in something way over his head. If you’re a real woman you wouldn’t he say I want mines and yours, that is the typical money hungry sister in ATLANTA, basically ain’t about nothing but being selfish ! ONE !!!!
DAKIM...WE NEED TO HIGH FIVE BOI.
THATS JUST WHAT IM SAYIN!!!
i'm done. dakim you can talk well, but don't seem as though you can read with comprehension or listen. because as i said for a hundred of times. i expect out of my man, what i am as a woman, strong but gentle when needed, honest, loyal, dependable, confident, lovable, motivated, a go-getter. I have not dated a man yet that didn't love me, better yet still loving me and want to be to me as i am or was to him. even if he started out resisting. competing with ms buckhead, nah, i could be ms buckhead if i chose too. i make materislistsic stuff, it doesn't make me... that's not what i live for... again i'm not hiding behind anything, im anonymous because i didn't have the time to go through the profile and all considering, i'm working extra hard for my 6 figure salary and then i go home to my other job with my family that i love and appreciate even more when i see what's out here in your world. i have a woman co-worker that feels as you all do, and now she's married and they are still the same. his money is his money and her money is her money. the have separate everything but a bed. but like i said you get what you put out. if that's what you want then more power to you. i'm sorry that woman took all your money, but it's two sides to every story. why did she take it? and again, haven't noone said nothing about dictating what a man do or dont do with his money that's wasn't the topic. it's his money and he should do with it as he please, my thing is when he makes sure his woman is ok regargless of if they are living together... that's a man... not thinking only of himself and his situation. why would you think this is a sucker? whatever man... i don't know what you and goldenstar are talking about when you stated to her waiting until she get married to give a man some head but again, girl i aint mad at you. somethings should be sacred these days because sex sure isn't... you can't compare the two, never having oral sex, saving that for marriage and being there for your woman while you are dating her now. because if you're dating her and you continue to come around her then she must be keeping him/you happy, sex, companionship, communication etc... that's all thats important.... ones happiness.. you only live once so enjoy yourself and make sure you are happy... if not do something about it.. why do you keep referring to a man being a sugar daddy. like ti says, it aint tricking if you got it... goes to say alot, huh? conronda, you're helpless....
Anonymous - sure about whatever you say or said. You work hard for your 6 figures wonderful. Keep working hard at whatever you do. conronda is not helpless apparently she see's the world through different set lens from yourself and there is nothing wrong with that it obvious both of yall and everyone else is happy with how they are living their lives.
We are done with this topic, you have your views and I have my views. considering you work so hard for your 6 figures, and don't have time to get a profile, but have time to write full stories, I question the validaty of your statement. Anyway, I am posting some new topics, get on those if you have time.
Number 1 I'm not helpless and further more for you to even have to take it their validates to me even more that you have absolutely no self worth. Yes I said no self worth!
For any woman that has to repeat over and over and over again what she thinks she is in dollar amount is a joke. That is a woman who needs to surround herself with things only money can buy because thats the only way she feels important. Money can't buy you class. Money can't buy you respect. Money can't buy you a real man with real goals. What you are honey is someone who is looking to be in control. You want to see what someone can do for you before you feel you can invest anything in him. Its a difference between a man wanting his woman to look good, feel good, and makes sure she knows he has her undivided attention without her demanding it. I want my man to see something he would like me to have and decided on his own account to get it. Rather than me bark at him 'Oh you can't get my nails done", " damn you see my hair why cant you pay for it to be maintained". See you are the chick that be naggin all the time. Throwing fits and things cuz he didn't jump when you said jump. Mad cuz he wanted to hang with his boys and not u. You the chick that as soon as he gets home you got to start asking him stupid questions, looking thru his phone and stuff.....It called low self esteem! But the funny thing is this is what you think it takes to be respected. This is what you think is going to let that man know you not playing games and he better come correct. When in reality he has spotted your materialistic self miles away. A man knows that if you talking all that jazz from jump thats all he has to give you to pacify you. Now you feeling like cuz he's being your pay master you got him straight right! Yeah right....... A woman who knows who she is and what she stands for doesn't have to go out of her way to try to make others see who she is trying to be....if she really is all that it will be noticed any way. A man of true quality will want to give you a piece of himself. Even if he has been afraid to go there before. He will try something different with you. But if you show him all those things he expects a woman to be (naggin, self indulged, wanna be the queen bee, im the top bitch and you betta reconize! simpled minded chick) then he is going to treat you just like so. Yeah he may go along with the throw you some dollars and show up and play this role for a little while. But then he is going also give you no respect. You keep workin hard for those 6 figures and keep telling everyone how strong of a woman you are. Do ya thang ma! But I betta you will be doing it alone. And if you got a man he is a weak man. Hanging on your every move. But thats what someone like you need to feel like a real woman.
This blog page that was so nicely created by my friend is suppose to be a place to come and just simply discuss our opinions. People taking it personal and things it to much. Of course we will defend ourselves. I can feel the way i feel. You feel the way you want. If we don't agree then we just agree to disagree. To try taking things to another level is crazy. DAMN!
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