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I think it is distorted. My parents divorced when I was 8 and my brother was 15 .. My brother had a hard time because he was use to my father always being there. It didn't hit me until I got a little older. One parent can raise a healthy, well developed child, but life would be so much easier with 2 proactive parents. If the parents can't make the relationship work between them, then I think its better to separate, but you have to learn to work together in the interest of the child/children. And if you bring someone else into the equation such as a new gf/bf, wife/husband..its important for all parties to get along. The last thing I would want is someone to think that I would mistreat their child. If I am in that man's life, I would like to get to know the child/children and the other parent because its not my intention to cause strife but to add to the situation by respecting boundaries and making sure that child is comfortable and gets what they need.
From a woman's point of view...some women think that just because they have money, they can raise a child by themselves. It takes more than money. As the proverb goes, "It takes a village to raise a child".
I can speak to being raised by a single mom and being one myself. Money would've made things easier in some ways but it was never a subsititute for not having my father around like he should've been. My daughter was also jipped of being raised by both of her parents.
Frankly, I don't understand how women go to donor clinics and just want to be moms...single ones at that...talkin bout how they don't need a man. Bullsh*t!
Yes, it's possible to raise a child, in a single parent household but it is not ideal and it shouldn't be looked at as a standard for American households.
You said it Miss T .. I don't have children yet but I saw what my mom went through and she always kept things real with me about life. I have tried to be very careful .. Kudos to you for doing it on your own .. Money can't do nothing for you when you are up in the middle of the night with a sick child. There is so much more to raising a child than money .. it takes time and effort.
I never really knew my pops so it didn't effect me like most as far as yearning for him. However, I do know if I did have a pops around I would nat gotten into the streets the way I did.
My moms did her best to raise me, and she sacarficed alot in life. I think it is critical to have if not the father then a strong man that can fill those shoes. My mother I commend her because she tried that, unfortunately her man jerk meter was low and she pick a chump and I will say he met my homeboys smith&wesson a few times.
My girls was part of the reason I stayed in a bad marriage because I had made a commitment to give them what I didn't have. But divorce was necessary, however, I am learning to maintain that relationship with them and I didn't speak to there ovary donor for 2 yrs. Then I realized it only affects the kids, and I love them more than I dislike her. Because it is critical for kids to have the both of best worlds.
Ironically I was talking to my daughters and told them why I stayed and their response was that is crazy to stay for the kids, because if yall can't get along you need to be separate. WOW !!
Dakim .. I am glad that you guys were able to work things out and your girls are very smart to realize that you guys being miserable wasn't in their best interest. Keep a strong bond with them, because the way you treat them is the way that they are going to want to be treated by a man. I was always daddy's little girl .. and I always will be :)
Not having a father in the home has made me really hard towards men. I find that I don't trust them and believe that most are in for sex and to be taken care of. So me not having a father in the home and seeing my mother work as hard as she has has made me some what bitter. I am trying very hard to to be hard on men but its very hard for me. A man has to prove himself before I really let go. Oh and he better not ask me to do a damn thing!
conronda, from that perspective I can understand what your talking about that way. I believe when you find in your heart to give a good man a chance you will be surprised at what you get. But unless you let go whats in your heart, your killing any opportunities before they arise. (if that makes sense)
Yes, a single parent home can produce a law abiding citizen. But it is much better to have both parents in the household, if possible. In that case we as adults looking for life mates should choose better mates. Get to know them inside and out and don't settle. Stop settling people and pray about what you want and God will give you the desires of your heart.
11 comments:
I think it is distorted. My parents divorced when I was 8 and my brother was 15 .. My brother had a hard time because he was use to my father always being there. It didn't hit me until I got a little older. One parent can raise a healthy, well developed child, but life would be so much easier with 2 proactive parents. If the parents can't make the relationship work between them, then I think its better to separate, but you have to learn to work together in the interest of the child/children. And if you bring someone else into the equation such as a new gf/bf, wife/husband..its important for all parties to get along. The last thing I would want is someone to think that I would mistreat their child. If I am in that man's life, I would like to get to know the child/children and the other parent because its not my intention to cause strife but to add to the situation by respecting boundaries and making sure that child is comfortable and gets what they need.
From a woman's point of view...some women think that just because they have money, they can raise a child by themselves. It takes more than money. As the proverb goes, "It takes a village to raise a child".
I can speak to being raised by a single mom and being one myself. Money would've made things easier in some ways but it was never a subsititute for not having my father around like he should've been. My daughter was also jipped of being raised by both of her parents.
Frankly, I don't understand how women go to donor clinics and just want to be moms...single ones at that...talkin bout how they don't need a man. Bullsh*t!
Yes, it's possible to raise a child, in a single parent household but it is not ideal and it shouldn't be looked at as a standard for American households.
You said it Miss T .. I don't have children yet but I saw what my mom went through and she always kept things real with me about life. I have tried to be very careful .. Kudos to you for doing it on your own .. Money can't do nothing for you when you are up in the middle of the night with a sick child. There is so much more to raising a child than money .. it takes time and effort.
I never really knew my pops so it didn't effect me like most as far as yearning for him. However, I do know if I did have a pops around I would nat gotten into the streets the way I did.
My moms did her best to raise me, and she sacarficed alot in life. I think it is critical to have if not the father then a strong man that can fill those shoes. My mother I commend her because she tried that, unfortunately her man jerk meter was low and she pick a chump and I will say he met my homeboys smith&wesson a few times.
My girls was part of the reason I stayed in a bad marriage because I had made a commitment to give them what I didn't have. But divorce was necessary, however, I am learning to maintain that relationship with them and I didn't speak to there ovary donor for 2 yrs. Then I realized it only affects the kids, and I love them more than I dislike her. Because it is critical for kids to have the both of best worlds.
Ironically I was talking to my daughters and told them why I stayed and their response was that is crazy to stay for the kids, because if yall can't get along you need to be separate. WOW !!
Dakim .. I am glad that you guys were able to work things out and your girls are very smart to realize that you guys being miserable wasn't in their best interest. Keep a strong bond with them, because the way you treat them is the way that they are going to want to be treated by a man. I was always daddy's little girl .. and I always will be :)
STS thanks for the words.. but I still don't like her.. :)
I will speak from my own experience
Not having a father in the home has made me really hard towards men. I find that I don't trust them and believe that most are in for sex and to be taken care of. So me not having a father in the home and seeing my mother work as hard as she has has made me some what bitter.
I am trying very hard to to be hard on men but its very hard for me. A man has to prove himself before I really let go.
Oh and he better not ask me to do a damn thing!
conronda help me out.. I don't see how not having a father relates to all men want sex.
Well i guess me not having my father around made me feel like he got it from her and dipped....
which broke down to me as no good men.
conronda, from that perspective I can understand what your talking about that way. I believe when you find in your heart to give a good man a chance you will be surprised at what you get. But unless you let go whats in your heart, your killing any opportunities before they arise. (if that makes sense)
Yes, a single parent home can produce a law abiding citizen. But it is much better to have both parents in the household, if possible. In that case we as adults looking for life mates should choose better mates. Get to know them inside and out and don't settle. Stop settling people and pray about what you want and God will give you the desires of your heart.
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