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hahaha funny.... I think you should be able to talk about anything with your mate, now do I think your going to tell them everything no.... you dont tell anyone everything about you...
But you should have a sense of comfort to talk about anything with em...
I think your mate should be a best friend but in reality they turn out to be a good friend. Once feelings and marriage etc get going what your comfortable with telling that person changes. Depending on the person of course.. but most women are dealing with esteem issues and have a problem with u hang with your single friends..etc You can't say you going to the bar, u just can't do anything.
Yes, some women. The key words in that sentence is SOME WOMEN... All women are not the same bc we have experienced different types of friend/relationships and we all learn from our mistakes differently.
I would want my mate to be my best friend, my homie, my lover and my husband. I dont have a problem w/my mate have single friends or him taking long rides on his motorcycle. That maybe what he needs to use to think about situations going on in his/our LIFE. As for me getting in the car driving, reading a good book, quiet times w/myself or hanging w/the girls is what I use to think about everyday life situations. I have learned that being "Clingy" is not a way to a man's heart. They need space and time just like women.
I do want my mate to feel that he can tell me anything bc I will want to tell him everything, also.
All types of communication is important to me (cards, verbal, smoke stacks, texting, etc). I don't ever want us to be in the house an not be able to speak to each other. No matter what the situation.
The same tactics that we use in our dating relationship will be the same in our marriage.
Dakim Why we gotta go there...Women have self esteem issues? Don't men also? Your mate should be someone you can share things with. As far esteem problems....ah that is not going to start after marriage it will be there before. Now if you choose to marry someone with insecurity issues thats on you!
Your mate is your mate. My best friend is someone that has been there thru thick & thin. I think that my mate is my partner that I will confide in, but I am a girl that needs her girlfriends to tell me when I am being trifling and I need to check myself. My man is my lover, provider, my home skillet!!! But there is definately a separation because men and women do not communicate the same so ideally it would be wonderful to find all those qualities in your mate .. but probably won't happen. Life is balance.
No don't think is possible, women have a tendacy to over analyze problems so communications between men and women are naturaly flawed.
Men are wired to be problem solvers and when a woman presents a man with a problem he will give you a quick answer. But women don't want you the man to give them an answer all the time they just want you to listen.
I don't think you should tell your mate everything. Like if an ex makes an innocent phone call to check on you. If you spill the beans it will probably cause more trouble than it is worth.
Your mate doesn't need to be your best friend, but you SHOULD be able to talk to them about anything, that doesn't necessarily mean you will though. Because you chose not to tell them something does not mean you are keeping secrets, it just means that you didn't deam it news worthy. No one person should know everything about you. Piecing an entire story together makes for interesting conversation at your funeral.
I mean people stay in things just because so I think should is a really good word you should have a sense of comfort doesnt mean alot of people do and thats the damn!!! problem..
correction alot of people are too comfortable and and try to ignore there is a problem. Istead of dealing with it head one. but great comment goldenstar !
13 comments:
hahaha funny.... I think you should be able to talk about anything with your mate, now do I think your going to tell them everything no.... you dont tell anyone everything about you...
But you should have a sense of comfort to talk about anything with em...
I think your mate should be a best friend but in reality they turn out to be a good friend. Once feelings and marriage etc get going what your comfortable with telling that person changes. Depending on the person of course.. but most women are dealing with esteem issues and have a problem with u hang with your single friends..etc You can't say you going to the bar, u just can't do anything.
Yes, some women. The key words in that sentence is SOME WOMEN... All women are not the same bc we have experienced different types of friend/relationships and we all learn from our mistakes differently.
I would want my mate to be my best friend, my homie, my lover and my husband. I dont have a problem w/my mate have single friends or him taking long rides on his motorcycle. That maybe what he needs to use to think about situations going on in his/our LIFE. As for me getting in the car driving, reading a good book, quiet times w/myself or hanging w/the girls is what I use to think about everyday life situations. I have learned that being "Clingy" is not a way to a man's heart. They need space and time just like women.
I do want my mate to feel that he can tell me anything bc I will want to tell him everything, also.
All types of communication is important to me (cards, verbal, smoke stacks, texting, etc). I don't ever want us to be in the house an not be able to speak to each other. No matter what the situation.
The same tactics that we use in our dating relationship will be the same in our marriage.
Dakim
Why we gotta go there...Women have self esteem issues? Don't men also?
Your mate should be someone you can share things with.
As far esteem problems....ah that is not going to start after marriage it will be there before. Now if you choose to marry someone with insecurity issues thats on you!
Your mate is your mate. My best friend is someone that has been there thru thick & thin. I think that my mate is my partner that I will confide in, but I am a girl that needs her girlfriends to tell me when I am being trifling and I need to check myself. My man is my lover, provider, my home skillet!!! But there is definately a separation because men and women do not communicate the same so ideally it would be wonderful to find all those qualities in your mate .. but probably won't happen. Life is balance.
STS
That was said very well....I have said to many people life is a balance! Im glad to know other people feel the same :-)
STS - your a wise woman. ideally it would be wonderful to find all those qualities in your mate .. but probably won't happen. Life is balance.
That is reality..
Funny thing life is balanced.. but alot of people choose to force balance in areas that it may never work. For example this topic today.
No don't think is possible, women have a tendacy to over analyze problems so communications between men and women are naturaly flawed.
Men are wired to be problem solvers and when a woman presents a man with a problem he will give you a quick answer. But women don't want you the man to give them an answer all the time they just want you to listen.
I don't think you should tell your mate everything. Like if an ex makes an innocent phone call to check on you. If you spill the beans it will probably cause more trouble than it is worth.
Your mate doesn't need to be your best friend, but you SHOULD be able to talk to them about anything, that doesn't necessarily mean you will though. Because you chose not to tell them something does not mean you are keeping secrets, it just means that you didn't deam it news worthy. No one person should know everything about you. Piecing an entire story together makes for interesting conversation at your funeral.
goldenstar SHOULD is a VERY BIG WORD. You should go to work, you should know your mate. Reality, you only be able to do what works for yall .
I mean people stay in things just because so I think should is a really good word you should have a sense of comfort doesnt mean alot of people do and thats the damn!!! problem..
correction alot of people are too comfortable and and try to ignore there is a problem. Istead of dealing with it head one. but great comment goldenstar !
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