Tuesday, February 10, 2009
How to let a man lead
I have a friend that doesn't know how to let a man be a man. She has an A type personality. When she meets a man, its in her nature to take charge and run the friendship this is before they are really dating. She will suggest where they should go, what they should do. She says she doesn't know how to tell a let a man lead.
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11 comments:
Sounds like she has a problem with patience more so than letting a man lead. Is she like this in all her endeavores, is the one always wanting to be the planner of events and trips and outings and such? Does she complain about people being late or procrastinating about things? Or does she need to be the center of attention and talk over other people during discussions and use 'I' and 'Me' a lot?
I think she needs to meet an aggressive man. I mean if that is in her nature thats her nature to be in charge, she needs to understand thats her personality and maybe she needs to be around a man that doesnt made a take charge women why should she have to change who she is.
not she doesnt need to meet an agressive man. SHe needs to work on that. Are you playing devil advocate Golden?
Almost any man is going to make a play for the power position when he is ready, as long as she is being the aggressor in a relationship/friendship he is going to keep his eye on her because that COULD be a sign of things to come later. She could be the type that is up in your face all the time, making unrealistic demands because she sees someone else doing something. If she understands the concept of knowing when to back down and when not to back down, things could work fine with an aggessive man or a passive man, it's about about compromise and knowing which battles to pick and which to let go.
I agree with you ER, and CR no im not playing anything here im just asking why change who you are if its in your nature do you, please compromise but if taking the roll is what you like doing and its your fit do it.
Do be the woman like I have always have to take control because my man wont do it thats different and a whole other blog.
I see...I don't agree though. You have to have balance and if you know that is hurting your relationships then I think its ok to change it some. Do you think you shouldn't change at all if there is an obvious problem? Acknowledging is first then dealing is next. I don't think she should loose her agressiveness just learn when and how to be at the right times. Seems like she knows its a problem.
The question I think we should be asking here is if dude has a people with it. I mean if he doesnt like her always picking out the places to eat and blah blah.
It could be that she thinks its a problem when its really not.
I think its more along of the line as she wants him to pick sometimes.
Well just going off the question its her knowing this is reoccuring. That's why Im saying if she wants to feel that she has to be able to let it happen. Not be so quick to always make the moves. Allow him to do it. I think it ok some but I think it takes away from the man. He may not feel he can do anything if she always jump to do it.
ConRonda .. I totally agree with you ... there needs to be balance. She needs to recognize that the common denominator in her failed relationships is her. She needs a REAL friend to tell her about herself .. "B*tch, is you crazy!" A good friend shouldn't have any hesitation to tell her sista girl that she needs to take it down a notch.
When the love is right, the submission is right. When you let a man be a man, a good woman knows when to give in and that is a beautiful thing. It's hard to get into that place bc of past relationships but you have to learn to communicate early in the relationship..Teach that man/woman how you speak and understand your love language .. if you can't make the relationship jive .. the are just not the one .. NEXT!
an additional note.. My friends comments to this question. Was when she does allow a man to lead he asked a million times are you sure thats where you want to go. She feels men don't want to lead.
if he is asking that question (repeatedly) its becuase either he doesn't want to go there himself, or the woman is always complaining about places they go and he doesn't want to hear her mouth when she starts complaining about the place he chose.
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