Black men are often intimidated by black women with high-paying and successful careers because they want to play the role of protector, or because they do not want their girlfriend's career to come before them. Some men, such as Oprah Winfrey's companion Stedman Graham, have learned to cope with this intimidation.
What are you guys thoughts?
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Hmmm .. Someone has been reading this months Essence magazine. I think it takes a confident man to deal with a successful woman. I am sure that when Oprah and Stedman are together she makes him feel like he is her King. There has to be balance...there is no way Oprah can be larger than life in every aspect of her being. Point is that no matter how successful someone is in one area of their life, they are not so hot in another area. So balance is key and when the right combination of man/woman connect, the situation will compliment itself.
I do feel that sisters do intimidate men when we have more. They making all these songs miss indenpent blah blah but I think deep down inside it messes around with a man mind.
But I do believe even in this case you should always make your man feel like a king... Its a hard road but we have to give it a try
It's not about coping. It able a women knowing and understanding that regardless how much money you make, when she comes home she is still wearing the panties. Don't put on boxes and trying to control the household because your doing better than your man financially.
True Dakim .. the important thing is that both of you know your role .. Hell after kicking fools in the balls all day, a woman needs to come home and feel like a woman .. No one wants to be on guard all day .. that is exhausting.
As long as he is secure with himself it shouldn't matter who brings home the bacon so to speak. As far as the women goes just because she makes the most money she shouldn't get the bighead about it
Not about a man being secure. It's usually the women that thinks because she is making money she now has the control..
Dakim, no offense but just reading the comments you have left seems as though you have already prejudged the situation as the women is trying to belittle the man. Instead of just saying both parties have to balance life with one another and realize no one is greater the the other
I was just having a conversation about this very topic with a friend who is in this situation. It does appear the problems start with the main bread winner (Be it male or female) feels that they have the power because they bring in the lion's share of the money. They feel they have power over they mate, and think things like 'I make the money, you need me, I don't need you'. I don't think black men are intimidated by successful black women or even those that just make more then the man they are with, they become annoyed when it's thrown in their face as a power/control move.
I think the answer is yes if you are dating a simple man. Most men can handle having a woman that makes more than him. Then you have those that don't have a high enough self esteem about themselves that they question their selfworth. These are the guys that will blatantly ask you to quit your job and get another with lesser pay so he could feel like the man. I never belittle my husband but he knew I made way more than him getting into this relationship. Is it my fault that I'm a go getter and he needs to be pushed a little bit harder? The times have changed and women are making more. We are the stronger sex when it comes to thinking and strategy. Its not like we intentionally rub our salaries in our mates faces. I think if a black man has a problem with their mate making more than them change your industry. Go back to school and try something else. Then again he will have the upper hand if I get laid off. Then I probably would be humble. Until then I keep myself in check when talking or asking do to things because I do have to walk on eggshells because his feelings will be hurt.
Con no offense taken. I haven't judged anyone. What I have found is that women making a certain amount of money have a sense of confidence about them which is great. Some forget they man is their partner not someone at their disposal
Knobles -We are the stronger sex when it comes to thinking and strategy.
WHYYY WHHYY .. do yall women try and cause us to make coments.. you know that is a totally false statement.. I think you were typing fast and that slipped in.. LOL.. LOL
Dakim we are the stronger sex.... Think about it we take of out children cook clean work and hold down these power positions, and still come home and sex your ni@@a's up.
So I feel you Knoble!
they still thinking about how to get that that *hit done.
we not thinking about how to get it done, we delegated it to you
GS half the time the sex isn't good. So then what...
Thanks for the Backup GS!
you just a hater!
Ok so how about we delegate making more paper than us, delegate having my meal hot and ready for me to eat when I get home, delegate ironing my shirts right, delegate helping lil Johnny & BonQuisha with their science project, delegate picking up my dry cleaning, delegate you being soccer mom this week, delegate that reverse supahead, delegate maing a good cup of coffee succah!!! LMBO ..
I'll delegate all that to your secretary and coffee is the devil's water, there'll be no coffee in my house woman
OMG .. Easy I will meet you in the parking lot 3 o'clock .. I's sick of you .. lol
"Do successful sisters intimidate black men?" (Smile). Not this one! What level of success are you talking about? (Life, family, career (?), school, recent accomplishment, etc) Her level may not be what I call success. I think one would need to define what success means to before proclaiming it, or asserting it. Personally speaking, I don’t care. I don’t care what your success level is. I applaud and commend your effort and achievements, but refuse to allow someone to belittle me. If you’re successful, it may ONLY carry as much weight as who you are, or have become. Success can viewed as one of the more recent societal labels changing people, instead of people changing the label and how it should be represented. We each exude our own degree of success, which requires no man, no woman, or recognition from society. For anyone to be intimidated at the expense of others, no matter what label affix or is given, I believe it then becomes a self esteem or confidence question.
Tis it for now…
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