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My cousin was with this girl for several years and now she has decided to move on. But he can't let go. He says he really loves her and doesn't want to give up on them.
I think when you have been with somebody for so long its like your breaking up a friendship and thats something that you dont want to loose,it will be a big part of you and your life that you will be missing.
But if its something unhealthy for you.. learn to let it go it will hurt now ... but you will heal
Like GS said, its like giving up a friend, or having a friend taken from you. To an extent you are seeing part of you go away that you more than likely will not be getting back, you can replace it, you can upgrade it, but that part probably isn't coming back.
It seems the harder it is break up is dependant on how far into the future you have seen yourself with that person. If you only saw yourself with them until tomorrow, you can write em off like $5 to someone you don't know, if you envisioned yourself with them 5 yrs from now, its a tougher pill to swallow.
I think its a combination of different things. It can be that you are really in love with that person and don't understand why they somehow don't feel the same about you, its the feeling of failure, being alone, being rejected, comfort, and habit.
I think it's about the fear of the unknown. We developed a need for this person and now to be out there alone, that thought drives people crazy. Which is why some stay in situations they know they aren't healthy. But ironically once your done, you realize you were alone even though u were involved with someone (and your survived)
well said Coronda.... what type of advice would you give to some one that is in that situation? You no that the friend/relationship is not going in a good direction for them and they have been hurt over and over. You see that the person is a good person chasing a bad situation. What do you say/do?
Njgudgrl You know what I have a friend in that type of situation....the sad thing is when she started with this person I told her then what I saw and that I believed that she should not get into deep with him. Well low and behold what did she do...continued to get in deeper. When she would complain I would tell her what I felt. In the end now she is tired of the situation. I can only be there as her friend. What I'm saying is no matter what you tell someone they are going to follow their heart. Sometimes ppl think you are "haten on them" when you just see them about to run head on into a wall. But anyone that knows me knows I will be very honest about what i see and feel. they can take it for what its worth or leave it. I won't be hurt.
10 comments:
I think when you have been with somebody for so long its like your breaking up a friendship and thats something that you dont want to loose,it will be a big part of you and your life that you will be missing.
But if its something unhealthy for you.. learn to let it go it will hurt now ... but you will heal
Like GS said, its like giving up a friend, or having a friend taken from you. To an extent you are seeing part of you go away that you more than likely will not be getting back, you can replace it, you can upgrade it, but that part probably isn't coming back.
It seems the harder it is break up is dependant on how far into the future you have seen yourself with that person. If you only saw yourself with them until tomorrow, you can write em off like $5 to someone you don't know, if you envisioned yourself with them 5 yrs from now, its a tougher pill to swallow.
I think its a combination of different things. It can be that you are really in love with that person and don't understand why they somehow don't feel the same about you, its the feeling of failure, being alone, being rejected, comfort, and habit.
I think it's about the fear of the unknown. We developed a need for this person and now to be out there alone, that thought drives people crazy. Which is why some stay in situations they know they aren't healthy. But ironically once your done, you realize you were alone even though u were involved with someone (and your survived)
I think most women can flip the switch and its a wrap. Most times it takes a dude a longer time to get it out of their systems.
well said Coronda.... what type of advice would you give to some one that is in that situation? You no that the friend/relationship is not going in a good direction for them and they have been hurt over and over. You see that the person is a good person chasing a bad situation. What do you say/do?
Why does it take MEN longer to get over the situation? Especially, if they come from a good up bringing.
Njgudgrl
You know what I have a friend in that type of situation....the sad thing is when she started with this person I told her then what I saw and that I believed that she should not get into deep with him. Well low and behold what did she do...continued to get in deeper. When she would complain I would tell her what I felt. In the end now she is tired of the situation. I can only be there as her friend.
What I'm saying is no matter what you tell someone they are going to follow their heart. Sometimes ppl think you are "haten on them" when you just see them about to run head on into a wall.
But anyone that knows me knows I will be very honest about what i see and feel. they can take it for what its worth or leave it. I won't be hurt.
njgugrl
most women fall harder in the beginning. Dudes take a minute to get warmed up.
LOL What does a good upbringing have to do with anything?
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