In talking to people I find folks get caught up in the sex first and when that gets boring they try to have a relationship and wonder why it fails most of the time. Not many people discuss the important stuff first. My tolerance level is low, so I size a woman up in the first 30 days so there is no time wasted.
What things people should discuss during the 1st 30 days of a friendship/relationship ?
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I think within the first 30 days you should always set your expectations of what you want out of the relationship/friendship.
I think you should talk about what you’re looking for out of a relationship the things that you can or can’t handle. Your like or dislikes or whatever you feel is important for that person to know about you. Always put all your expectations on the table.
I don’t think that having sex first really missing up any relationship you’re going to go down that road. Because you already know if wanna sleep with someone or not. It’s just a matter of if they are going to be a cut buddy or something more. I think the more you talk with that person you learn what category they fall in.
Because you could have great sex but nothing more, and that could be what you’re looking for at the time. It just all depends.
From what I've experienced and seen, in the first 30 days of a relationship you should discuss things that are important to you that the person should know. Specifically, you should discuss what you're looking to get out of that relationship whether it be serious or casual.
I don't think having sex, in the first 30 days, is an issue, once you have that conversation. I've waited to have sex for months, talked my head off and still got my heart broken.
If you find that folks are caught up in sex and then leave when it gets boring...uh...cuz that's all they were there for...and they should've told you all they wanted was a cut buddy.
I find an issue where you ask somone what they're looking for and either they're not sure or they lie...so you still might be screwed...literally.
I can typically tell within the first real phone convo if the woman has the "it" factor.
I dont have time for setting up in folks face and feeding them if we dont have jack to talk about. Put them in the bootie call column and keep it moving.
wow AD, I see that your a lil hard core wit it, I mean even if its a bottie call you still have to take them out sometimes and feed I mean they still putting in work goosh......
Miss T your heart got broken because you made him wait months, we are adults, make him wait 30 days then give up the goods.. stop being stingy.. LOL.. Just joking !
In the 1st 30 days we should discuss the things often overlooked,
Are you a crazy chick, jealous, I ask questions to determine if your have self esteem issues. How is your credit, when was your last HIV test. Do you want kids and how many?
Are you willing to split half the bills, 50/50. Not 70/30 or 60/40 !
How long have you been single? stay away from women who have been still too long or one the ones that have just gotten out a relationship ! Very important to me is the type of relationships she has with the opposite sex and same sex.
goldenstar I agree with AD, why waste the time and money, when you have the same opporunity to hit it for free. Speak the truth bro !
if you taking a booty call out and feeding them, then its not a booty call, you getting the lines all blurry and someone is gonna start thinking they are entitled to more than they deserve. A booty call is exactly what the two words say, you CALL for the BOOTY. Its not BOOTY DINNER, its not BOOTY MOVIE.
Goldenstar-
It is what it is. Women know if they are going to give somebody some or not. So I may be hardcore in my approach what is the difference in what you are describing and prostitution. If you dont enjoy someones company why would you want to be in there face all night?
Right on easy rider!!
*high five* dakim these soft shoe'n does have messed the game all up!
does=dudes
first 30? nothing. i would not even hit companionship, as i need to know who you are and how you truly interact with not only me, but others in and out of our presence. granted. if i have an interest in you, i am not going to openly or hint towards the fact, or allow you too see it. i need to know who you are by watching who you are. talking with you, and how you respond, react, as well as interact during that time frame. now, there have been times were beauty, conversation, smell, or something altering minds and modes of attraction have caused me to react out of character, but even then it was strictly mutual. there lies several beings within each of us ignited by something or someone unconsciously, which could spark the quick fix. is that wrong? i think it depends on what we want at that time, and where we are in life, emotionally and mentally?
Demric, I aggree it depends on what we want in life at that time. But I think people don't take the time to look beyond the temp. We are like water constantly changing, but there still should be some basic things, they we need to use and discuss to build begin building a solid foundation and that should straight in the beggining
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