Thursday, September 18, 2008
Plantonic Friends
I have a married friend (we are platonic friends) however we speak alomost everyday via email. Her husband and I are friends/cool. He knows we speak but doesn't know how often we speak. He has asked her to see our emails which she chooses not to show because she feels he should trust her. However she does tell him we speak at times. I told her she should disclose that too him because though we are friends he wouldn't understand. Should I stop talking to her ? Or any other suggestions would be helpful
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12 comments:
If ya'll all "cool" then the wife shouldn't have anything to hide. Maybe the husband is curious. If it were me and I know I wasn't doing anything wrong and my husband asked me, I know I'd be able to not only show my husband the emails but disclose what I talked about with "our" male friend. Who knows what behaviors this wife has exhibited in the past that now prompts the husband to now ask that question? In my opinion, she shouldn't be talking to you about anything she can't talk to her husband about anyway...even if not at first...eventually!
i agree. every relationship is built on the premise of trust and integrity. how we demonstrate it can either create pitfalls or fortify the bond. now, on the other hand, speaking from a male perspective and experience from the past, sometime my inquiry can be indicative of my own actions and dealing with my personal friend or friends. the question MAY not be why now, but more so for what reason.
I don't think that you should stop speaking with her, but she should honor her husband wishes, its something about the relationship that is making him feel up so she needs to honor her husbands wises...
LOL You need to stay out them folks business because they are going to both turn on you in the end!
Nothing good can come out of this situation if you keep playing the middle man.
Wait I am confused!!! Is there anything in the e-mails that are not appropriate? I guess I don't have enough info on the dynamics of you and old girls relationship.
There has to be a reason as to why the husband is asking to see the emails now. The wife is either talking too much about the friend in general conversation or she is talking in her sleep. As always actions speak louder than words.
Our friendship is strickly friends, nothing more, we haven't and have no intentions of crossing the line, we have known each other for about 25 yrs and are just cool. I agree with Demric it's possible he is creeping and feeling the presure because whats on his mind. Also a relationship without trust is nothing at all. She thought they had enough between them to mention that me and her speak. Nots about the content of the emails it more about I don't have to let you know who I am talking to. but out of respect I tell you. So unless he is doing something or not doing his job at home, then he has something to be "curious george" about.
njgudgrl - If he is confident in what he has and his wife knows what they have. what is there to be afraid of ?
if they have been friends for 25+ years, the husband should already know all of the ways (fone, emails, etc.) that the wife and the friend are communicating. For the husband to start questioning out of the blue, he (husband) had to have seen something that is not sitting right w/him. Or he may just be asking to see what her response is going to be.
If the couple is confident where they stand there isn't anything to be afraid of? Each person knows where they stand w/each other. It is when one or the other sees or hears something concerning the friend that puts the concern into the relationship (change of daily routine, not answering calls, wording in emails, etc.) Remember what you do in the DARK will come to LIGHT!!!
Well I think that the husband has every right to know what is going on between friends. There really should be no secrets. The simple fact that she may not be forth coming maybe a reason to cause concerns. If she loves her husband she would let him in and make him feel important! And even maybe cut back on how much she is involved with her so called "friend". Thats shows were she stands on all levels.
But it could be that husband is just being nosey, and wants to be all up in his wife business, I don't feel that he should have the right to read all the emails, but she should let him see that whatever they talk about is truly on a friendship level.....
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