You meet a guy who is everything you ever wanted in a life-partner: funny, smart, great personality, laughs at your jokes, understands who you are as a human being, etc. You talk to him briefly, and find out that he is even more attractive now that you've spoken to him. You ask him out. You guys had a great time getting to know each other, talks on the phone everyday. Spending time with him is like being in heaven. He makes your toes curl, your stomach knot, and your mouth dry. Yet there is this nagging voice in the back of your mind that says you could be more than friends. You swear that you will tell him how you really feel. Right before you can do this, he tells you:
"I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS"
What do you do at this point? Do you tell him exactly how you feel or do you keep your feelings to yourself and stay friends?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
31 comments:
keep it to your self cause at this point his mind is made up about where he wants to be which is at friends status. I think you would just cause your self more pain, better to suppress your feeling and hope that the feeling goes away.
Wow .. I think you should keep your feelings to yourself and if you find it hard to be around this person without wanting to hump their leg .. you need to move on. The basis of any relationship or friendship is being on the same page .. I have been in this situation before and it did not feel good because my feelings were too far gone .. so I had to walk away because I felt I couldn't be a good friend ..
It depends. If all he wants is to be friends, then she should respect his wishes. Was there sex involved? If sex was involved, and he still wants to be friends, she has to wonder whether that was his intentions from the get go. They can still be friends, she just have to put her feelings to the side and never talk about it again.
You don't be a quitter, you just take a step back, evaluate the situation and plan a new course of action. You sit your happy ass down for second and be there friend. Periodically you stick your toe in the water test the temperature. On that same token, you don't just sit around and wait for them to warm up to you either.
Idk Easy .. I am not playing Robin Hood Princess of stealing hearts .. If you want me, its gonna be because of who I am and not who I manipulate myself to be to attrack you. I think ppl should stop trying to always be the winner bc the truth is someone always has to lose. I think this shows the difference between women and men .. we are emotional so hanging on only tourments us more .. men have to divide and conquer and the end result is "I hate my baby mama/daddy" ... if you would've listen to what that person said in the beginning .. you wouldn't be stuck in the situation ..
That's my take on the situation ..
Oh, its not a matter of trying to steal someone's heart, attention or attraction. It's a matter of you and that person appear to have a good friendship/relationship, but at the time you all may not be at the same point in your life. If you have such a good friendship, then you should be able to function in that role without getting all stupid and the situation being ackward.
Of course I am taking the angle that sex has never occurred and the 2 people just hung out as strictly friends or have done group events.
StS, have you ever had a person approach you and you didn't care for what they said, but they came back later and said something completely different and it got a different reaction from you? That is all I am saying about stepping back and evaluating the situation.
It would be the woman to say keep it to yourself. It's 2009, let dude know, whats the worst that could happen. Yall be friends with benefits. A close mouth doesn't get fed. True story there is nothing better than having sex or being in like with ur friend
STS - u don't like your baby daddy.. LOL..
women being emotional is an excuse.. There are alot of women out here that keep it gully and you know this.
Women are so emotional but what about the dude that doesn't hit it right. Yall move on.
On that same vein Dak, aren't woment he same ones talking about they want their mate to be their friend and be able to tell them anything and everything, but when you meet dude and he cuts you short, you just give up, you don't even try, AND 86 someone you said was a good friend? Where you all really that good friends if you can't stay friends, even if you have hidden feelings for him?
Dakim, friends with Benefits is not an unhealthy relationship. He just needs to make it clear to the friend about the situation. U never know he might be the one who get hooked.
The trick is to accept what you've got with this person and avoid trying to make it something it'll never be. I've certainly been guilty of trying to turn a completely fine FWB into a BF, and the results were predictably disastrous.
Simply put .. the post says she wants him, he doesn't want her .. Why should I put my feelings out there .. I think I am respescting his wishes .. he is just into me like that .. oh well NEXT!
ES exactly.. this what they want then they can't handle it and use emotions and other reasons as an excuse.
Keep it to yourself
I would expect Ronda to say keep it to your self. Read Easy comment again.. sweetie
whatever to all the men, I think thats just how men play around with women emotions period. Cause if your stand point is I just want to be friends then just be that.
Why all this talk about coming at it again at a different time blah blah.... whatever...
GS I see another deceptive tactic from a women
whatever I see a grown azz man playing the game
GS - read easy comments again---
aren't woment he same ones talking about they want their mate to be their friend and be able to tell them anything and everything, but when you meet dude and he cuts you short, you just give up, you don't even try, AND 86 someone you said was a good friend? Where you all really that good friends if you can't stay friends, even if you have hidden feelings for him?
Am I slow or are you fellas just not getting it.. She wants him, he doesnt want her like that .. case closed. If she can put her feelings aside to just being his friend .. great but if not she should move on. All friendships do not develop into a relationship .. He is obviously setting boundaries and I don't think that should be tampered with out of respecting what he wants. If things change down the road .. wonderful, but she should respect his wishes.
Goldenstar .. I think you are right .. it's a game. Now men want to be chased .. whatever !!
Not what I was saying, I was simply reversing the sexes where its a woman saying she wants to just be friends and the guy is the one looking for more.
I got you Easy .. different sexes same scenario .. And my thought process remains the same .. If I tell you I am not interested .. lay off or get gone. The point is to listen to what someone is telling you. What you are saying is the great beginnings of being a stalker bruh!
We knew what Easy was talking about.. yall women get so tight in your big drawers
hmmm...that's a good one. I think that she should try to be "just friends" first to see if she can handle it. If it is too much to bear and she knows that she wants that man all to herself, then she should let him know how she feels. She would need to be certain to let him know that she understands his view of their "relationship" but he should also know how she feels. She would also need to be prepared for a negative reaction. It is important for her to make sure she can take rejection from this guy cause chance that he doesn't see her as anything more than a friend.
QuantumPeach - I totally agree with you. At least give it a try. That is the fair thing todo. Instead of just running. Who knows what it may turn into.
First off Mr. Dakim. I wouldn't just put myself all out there if someone says they want to be friends. They have just told me what they think of our relationship! Now that's not to say that things won't change down the line. You never know but just because Im feeling all lovey dovey and want to try anyway...um no! Then I get slapped down after he has already said what he wants...um no! But again things can change later no need to rush anything. If it happens then it happens.
Thank you ConRonda .. Why can't these men get that??
I have proof that persistance works. A friend in college was pretty stuck on friends with me but i knew because of our good friendship that we would have a good relationship. I mad it my business to show her sides of me she wouldnt normally see as a friend. And like ER said put my plan together and worked it out. (without going to details) We ended up having the freakiest relationship because we were so open with each other.
How long did the relationship last Dnasty?
Not many relationships last long in college but we went strong for a whole 2weeks. Nah just kidding. We dated for a year at least. But we remain friends till this day. She was great a freind and still is. Its to the point that i can introduce her to my wife and vice versa.
DNASTy - word... if she is the cool.. keep her in the family, ya know brother.. wink.. wink.. LOL
Post a Comment